[[[ People always told me stories and common phenomena that engendered negative thoughts in my head. 

Maybe it's true that when situations turn bad, people do bad things, and well, bad things happen. 

Maybe that's just being normal- in most people's eyes. And that's how they should be. 

But I had never considered our relationship to be the same as the others. Simply because it wasn't.

But why couldn't I believe in this, what we had, what I had planned, and give into the negativity and the doubters? In other words, why did I not have trust, faith, confidence, or whatever it is? 

I ask myself this quite often. Then I usually come up with the same answers. 

Because I couldn't figure it all out. I couldn't figure out what was happening to our relationship and I couldn't figure out what was going on with her. Then I came to the point where I couldn't figure out myself either. I had to let go. A somewhat sudden ending ensued. No discussions, no arguments. Just some simple words of good-bye and some simple words of gratitude with hints of regret. Not sure. 

Still trying to figure out what happened. Actually still maybe trying to figure out what's happening. Why. I think I'm kind of psychotic. Just when I'm about to accept and forget, a piece of memory pops in my head, or I'm reminded of an incident and then I have this huge sense of certainty that I'll never feel that way again. 

Of course not. That's something very obvious. 

I guess I'm just having a hard time with moving on. I am an idiot. ]]]

------------ This is a little snippet of what goes on in my head at least once throughout the day. Lol. I'm glad that at least I can write about it and laugh at myself a little bit. 

P.S. I'm screwed at work tomorrow. Damn.