running on about 3 hours of sleep in the past 2 days

i vaguely remember encountering stories where the protagonist sets out on a journey to "discover himself". and in these stories, the world seems to somehow gear towards the character so that he succeeds in his discovery. when i began to write in this stupid blog i thought that this is impossible for me because inherently in novels and movies the world revolves around the protagonist whereas the "real" world that i live in seems indifferent...
but now i'm starting to think that maybe the world is somehow perfectly geared towards every single one of us, so that we may discover ourselves and live a content life. But because we try so hard to gear ourselves towards the world created by the superficial, we eventually lose ourselves, and we'll never be completely content.

edited on 1/25/10

goal in life

i think everyone inherently wants to make a difference in this world, and in particular, his/her world. thats what it may all come down to, or else we wouldn't be doing anything. like i've mentioned before somewhere in this blog, we'll never be satisfied with what we have unless we have given up or just simply dont want anything at all.
to me, this world is too big. i cant make such differences. so imma do what i can and go all-in for my family that i will create in the future to come. now... if i were more gifted and talented i would be able to make differences for my current family too (mom dad sister). that'd be nice. very nice

그게 나였어

생각나니 별을보던 너의 모습 생각
아름다운 마음이 오래됐지만
그개 나였어
그게 나였어

생각나니 지난시절 잃어버린사랑
나눠같던 마음이 오래 됐지만
그게 너였어
그게 너였어