i was back in rancho cucamonga when just my mom and i lived together.
she brought home a puppy maltese, and i was exuberant. i knew it couldn't be my dog 자룡이 because we had given him away before we came to america and i know that he's probably dead by now, but i didn't bother to ask where she got the dog because i just wanted to believe that its 자룡이. throughout the dream, which is the longest dream i think i've had in a while, we just chilled, walked around, and slept together with him on my belly like we used to.
then at one point, the setting changed to my old house back in korea. i was like cool, let's go walk around the grass field next to the mountain like we used to. but before we went out, for some reason i wanted to give him a bath, so i put him on the sink in the bathroom. i gave him a little bath, and as i was about to pick him up, he fuckin fell in the drainage! what the fuk.... but the hole was kind of small so he was just kinda suck there and went down slowly, his eyes lookin at me like "help"... but he was already in far enough where i couldn't reach. after a few seconds he was out of my sight. and i was fuckin devastated..................................... i started crying out loud like a baby, something i would never do now. what's worse, i remembered in my dream that throughout my time with him in the dream, i never fed him! i was havin so much fun that i forgot to. even if he survived he must've been hungry as hell.
then my dream took me back to the actual day when i had to give my dog away. i remember crying like the saddest boy on the planet, with just him and me locked up in my sister's room when the people came to our house to pick him up. i guess that's the first of the series of goodbye's that was to come since that day. i remember everything crashing on me that day. sort of a reality check? it was the first one that i had as long as i can remember. i was going to be leaving home, my dad, and the life i never thought had Any problems. my worries back then were being the first to arrive at school and be the best fighter in my grade (and they weren't even really problems because ya know i was sick wit it ya digg).
then i talked to my mom and finally asked if that was the real 자룡이. she hesitated then told me of course it was not, it was a lost dog she found in the mountains while she was hiking with her friend. but that didn't matter to me.
then a few days passed in what seemed like a few seconds (i was still dreaming), and he came back! i was crazy happy. i guess he found our house by smelling and i dont know, the crazy things that dogs do. i told him id never lose him like that again and fed him a shit load of those dog food things. haha............................. then i heard my alarm and i woke up, back in my room in la jolla, where i have to start studying for my mid term that's coming up soon. shit i just spent 20 minutes writing this... didn't mean to
reality check.
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