it's only wednesday

i'm dead tired and i'm not going to bother using capitalization in this post. it's enough i use punctuation lol. well work's more fun than taking classes. but its definitely more stressful. i can't believe its only wednesday. i can't believe i still got almost 3 minus 5 months of military service. it's insane. they say it's the same as working any other full-time job because i get weekends off. but its not true. as humans we are so heavily impacted by the visual things that the military life significantly decreases the quality of life. dammnnnn i'm too lazy to elaborate but i'll do so anyway. oh damn why did i write my last sentence i just wasted more energy. even this last one. and the last one. and this one. and so on. what the hell. anyways, in the civilian world, we are constantly reminded of the good things in life/society through the awesome industrial developments we've made as mankind, plus everyone that lives in it who strive to show off their most attractive looks. like i said, they're reminders of the good things in this world, a.k.a what we're all trying to pursue (most of us). they validate hope. they provide vicarious pleasure. they make us happy for at least a few moments- and they're enough to keep us going.

wow what a freaking run-on of thoughts. retarded. but this is fun. just writing whatever that's coming to my mind. well guess what i'm cracked out like crazy, and i don't think i'm crazy. there's someone that i really miss. i don't know if i miss that person or the feeling of being loved and the feeling of loving. but either way i'm content with my life as long as i have at least one worthwhile person to hang out on the weekends and my wallet carries money. after a while you get used to anything, even when things get bad. but the wishlist gets longer and longer right. have you ever had a huge to-do list at work and proceeded to scribble them off one by one. that is an awesome feeling. why cant we do that in life? perhaps because the amount of time required for a "wish" is much much bigger than that of an item on a to-do list. just takes patience. but then who says we have all the time in the world? but who says we dont? but when's the right time then? what defines a "right time?"

oh fuck it. just shut the fuck up and enjoy the moment. if you're craving some fucking hot cheetos and you eat that shit, it's the best tasting thing in the entire universe. the pleasure would be greater than or equal to having the juiciest steak or the most expensive course meal. same shit. it's all about your attitude.

why can't it be like that with girls though LOL........ it's just got to be the right one. well that's why im probably not gettin some. maybe i should. maybe im just retarded and can never learn from my mistakes. fuck it imma be single for the rest of my life